Sometime I feel like I'm being slowly chiseled away.
This is Morag. She thinks I don't love her, so I dedicate this blog to her in hopes that she will see how much I do care.
She is super talented and wrote the play that I was just in. She writes lots of plays, one could call her a playwright. She has been the greatest of friends and is always there to hear me ramble on about something. She has a handsome husband, Mitch and a lovely doggie named Dash, who she always has a picture of, on her phone.
She likes to laugh and have fun all the time. She is a joy to be around. :) She shops at Nordstrom's and likes to buy new jeans and shoes. She has a boob hole. She says lots of witty things.
I have a headache otherwise I would write lots more about this lovely friend of mine.
I love Morag, and so should you!
Only two more days of school (+ one week of finals)!! I am stressed, but really excited at the prospect of not having to be on such a time constraint.
I went to a study session (where I brilliantly didn't bring any writing utensils-awesome) and then spent the rest of the day/night at the library trying to catch up on everything that I've been putting off because of the show.
The rest of Roofsliding went well, it ended last weekend. It's kind of weird, putting all of that time and effort into something and then it just ending. We all tore down the huge set together- 
it went down so fast. I wanted to keep something from the set, but I'm trying not to be such a pack rat. I got an amazing amount of wonderful feedback from the show. I'm really excited that so many people enjoyed the acting. It makes me feel pretty great, because lot of blood, sweat and tears went into it.
Val and Tim came down to see the show March 27th. It was a bit stressful for them, as their tire blew out a little over halfway here and I didn't know if they were going to make it. They did and we all went out for some mediocre food afterwards. I'm thankful to have such wonderful support. Val hasn't missed a performance yet.
My birthday was pretty awesome, I had school and the show but I have good friends, so it wasn't as bad as I was anticipating. Kris sent me a large bouq
uet of my favorite flowers-lilies-they were so beautiful. They made the house smell so lovely and they definitely made me happy every time I saw them.
My parents came to see the two last shows. They seemed to really like it. They bought me flowers as well and so I had the best smelling house for miles :) I didn't get to spend as much quality time with them as I had hoped. I get kind of weird about them leaving. I have huge issues with death and loss, etc. I am hoping to spend a few weeks down in Vegas over the summer; after I graduate, at least right now, I'm anticipating returning there for a little bit. Kris and his band came 
through on Thursday, the night before closing and that was fun/a little stressful at times. Kris was really sick, my parents took him to the urgent care place because he was really really bad. I tried to take care of him the best I could, but he needed medicine ASAP! Turns out he has an pneumonia :( I felt kind of helpless, and the fact that I only got see him for one night didn't make it better. He's slowly getting better and started work again a couple of days ago. A pneumonia isn't something play around with, that is for sure. I'm positive that it he had stayed on tour he would have not been so lucky.
Shortly after Kris left, I got sick myself. I'm not really sure what it is that I have, but as soon as I started feeling something, I began drinking water like you would not believe. It helped, but each day something else starts hurting. Amidst all of this I got pink eye and have had to wear my glasses more than I even have wanted to. They are cute, but the prescription I can tell is a bit off from my contacts so I have been getting pretty intense headaches, to top everything off. I can't understand how I got sick, I'm a moderate germ-a-phob (I'm the type of person to turn the sink off with a paper towel and open the door with a paper towel, etc). I'm clean, very clean, but I think my immune system 
most have been getting down from the lack of sleep and stomach/digestive issues that have been ensuing as of the past couple of months.
I have a lot to take care of in the last couple of days for school. I've got lots to read, lots to write, and lots to memorize. I'm not too confident in myself for some of the GE finals, but I'm going to do my best and hope that I won't have to retake anything. Perfection has been such a huge part of my life, but I think this is a great time to let it go. It's going to be painful, but I've had a jam packed year and I'm lucky to be getting out alive.
I'm getting sick. I have so much to say. I tired. My head hurts, maybe later I can be intellectual with my words. Probably not, but maybe.
I'm tired. I should be going to sleep, or practicing for my Musical Scene Study final for Sunday in the Park with George. Time goes by too fast, I feel like I can never catch up.
My birthday is in three days, whoooooo hoooooo. The big 2-3. I have a show that night and school all day, so that should be awesome.
Kris is on tour. He is sick. It makes me feel sad that I can't do anything to help him feel better. He is coming to Provo on Thursday! I have a show-I might not get to see him play.
My parents are coming into town to see my show. I'm excited. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas, which is a crazy long time. I miss them so.
I like my friends. Brighton and I had some fun adventures on Saturday, I'll have to write about them later.
My back hurts.
I watched a disturbing movie today, Elephant. And then I looked at Columbine shooting websites all day because of it. I feel not good. I can't comprehend people.
I feel like crying right now. I hate getting into arguments. It's the worst thing.
Sometimes I feel really misunderstood. I know that there are always two things going on and anyone who has a brain can think about things from another person's perspective, but while you're in the moment, there seems to be a conscious choice to focus on your own perspective, because after all that is the reason for which you are arguing. I know that sometimes I can say things that are hurtful or might not even be true in the moment, but I get angry when I don't feel like I'm being heard.
I don't like confrontations. I like getting things solved and moving on with life. I have a hard time concentrating on anything else if things are unsettled between me and someone I love and care about. I don't know if it is a fault, or if it's something else, but it paralyzes me. Everyone gets into arguments, I just like solving them because I think life is too short and why waste time feeling like this when things can just be reconciled. I'm tired and I have a lot that I need to get done. I just wanted to talk to him because he makes my perspective wider and helps me feel better about things. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it matters immensely to me.
The reaction was bad, but the concern was genuine. Now what do I do?
So my number one pet peeve HAS to be when people take my stuff without asking, especially if when I go to use said item and it's not in its correct place (as I place everything in it's appropriate space when I am done using it).
I'm pissed off right now. My damn clip that I use to blow dry my hair every morning is surprisingly missing....Oh and no one knows where it could have gone....hmmm....so crazy, huh?
UHHHHHHHHH!! Seriously, everyone needs to keep their hands off of my sh*t!!!! If it's not yours and you haven't asked to use it, its not ok.
I feel like screaming a long string of profanities right now.
I can't wait until I don't have freaking roommates anymore. I hate it.
So I got an 81% on my nutrition exam....not the best, but better than the 73% and 75% I've gotten on the last two exams. Now I have to combat my Physical Science exam this Monday. The outlook doesn't look as good. I have study several hours for these tests in the past and have gotten a 60% both times...I wonder what not studying at all will yield. It's not going to be pretty, I can tell you that.
My play has started. Opening night was last night and everyone seemed to really enjoy it. It's such a great cast, and everyone is doing such an amazing job.
I took a nap out on the grass after I took my test. The sun was shining on my face and I feel right asleep. I was supposed to go on the grass and study, that didn't happen, and I should be studying right now, but now it seems pretty pointless. Hmm, what am I to do?
I'm a little annoyed right now. I think people need to know when to just let things go.
Today is an absolutely beautiful day.
I got out of class early (one of my classes got canceled, and the other I don't have anymore!!).
There is something really amazing about walking home in weather like this, listening to good music, and feeling the breeze on your face. I just want to get a hammock and lay in it until the sun goes down. mmmm.
I've got lots of little things to get done today. Kris is coming in late tomorrow and I can't wait to see his face. The thought of him coming and making me feel good has been one of the only things that has gotten me through the last couple of days. I love how he's such a compliment to me (God only knows how much I would want to kill myself if he was exactly like me).
Today is going to be okay!
Laundry time.
